Elizabeth was even more miserable in the days following her separation from Wedge. She often roamed the Castle halls, deeply saddened. The Count and the Prince were planning, and noticed her walk by, depressed.
"She's been like that ever since the Fire Swamp," The Prince told the Count. "It's my Father's failing health that's upsetting her."
"Of course," the Count replied.
The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Elizabeth and Corran were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as their Queen.
Corran spoke to the crowd. "My Father's final words were..."
Priscilla Precise: *No*. Kitty, you will not do this to me.
Katrielle: Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life
isn't always fair.
Priscilla Precise: Who are you and what have you done with
EternalOptimist!Kitty? I'm telling you, you're messing up this fic
version! Can't you get it right?
Katrielle: Hon, do you want me to continue the story or not?
Priscilla Precise: *sighs* Yes. Oh, *wait*. *Oh*!
Katielle: By George, I think she remembers. ;-) Alrighty then, no
more interruptions. Ok, so, at noon she met her Subjects again,
this
time as their Queen.
Corran spoke to the crowd, "My Father's final words were: "Love her, as I have loved her, and there will be joy." And so, I present to you your Queen: Queen Elizabeth!
Elizabeth once again walks out to the crowd, but is met by a scary-looking woman.
"Boo! Booo! Boooooooo!" she screamed at Elizabeth.
Upset and hurt, Elizabeth asked her, "Why do you do this?"
"Because you had love in your hands," the old woman told her, "And you gave it up!"
"But they would have killed Wedge if I hadn't done it," she said sadly.
"Your true love lives, and yet you marry another!" she told her, then turned towards the crowd. "True love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage! And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want. Bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo!"
While the woman screamed at her, Elizabeth felt worse and worse, until finally....she woke up.
Priscilla Precise: *Thank* *TAWG*.
It was ten days until the Wedding. The King still lived, but Elizabeth's nightmares were growing steadily worse.
Priscilla Precise: See? Didn't I tell you I wouldn't end up with
Corran?
Katrielle: Yes, you're a very smart girl. *pats her on the head*
Now
shut up so I can finish.
Priscilla Precise: Hmph.
Finally, Elizabeth confronts Corran in his quarters.
"It comes to this," she told him. "I love Wedge, I always have; and now I know that I always will. If you tell me we must be married in ten days, believe that I will be dead by morning."
Corran tries to comfort her. "I could never cause you grief," he said. "Consider our wedding off." He turns to speak with Count Tarkin. "You, erm, returned this Wedge to his ship?"
"Yes," the Count responded in a sly tone of voice.
"Then we will simply alert him," he told Elizabeth. "Beloved, are you sure he still wants you? After all, it was you who did the leaving at the Fire Swamp. Not to mention that, ah, pirates are not always men of their words?"
"My Wedge will always come for me," she told him, certainty in her voice.
"I suggest a deal," Corran proposed. "You write four copies of a letter. I'll send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. The Dread Pirate Booster is always close to Florin this time of year. We'll run up the white flag and deliver your message. If Wedge still wants you, bless you both; if not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed?"
Elizabeth nods.
Count Tarkin and the Prince stood outside the Pit of Despair's secret entrance, in a tree grove.
"Your Princess is quite a winning creature," Tarkin told Corran. "A trifle simple, perhaps, but her appeal is undeniable."
Corran nodded. "I know, the people are quite taken with her. It's odd, but when I hired Fey'lya to have her murdered on our engagement day, I thought that was clever. But it's going to be so much more moving when I strangle her on our wedding night. Once Guilder is blamed, the nation will truly be outraged - they'll demand we go to war."
Tarkin snickered, then moved toward a tree, examining it "Now, where is that secret knot" he said. "It's impossible to find..." Just then, he finds it, and a door opens in the tree to reveal a secret passageway. "Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Wedge's got his strength back. I'm starting him on the machine tonight."
The Prince sighed, and looked at him. "Tarkin, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."
The other man nodded, and spoke, "Then get some rest," he told Corran. "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."
He smiled lightly, then descended into the Pit.
Tarkin walked over to the Machine Wedge is hooked up to, and admired it. "Beautiful isn't it?" he asked Wedge. "It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've discovered my deep and dividing interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting."
The Count turned on the machine, powered by moving water. Wedge writhed in agony as the machine continued to run.
Tarkin calmly speaks to him after the machine completes its cycle. "As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old. Really that's all this is except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. So, lets just start with what we have."
He pulls out some paper, and asks Wedge, "What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity so be honest. How do you feel?"
Wedge cried out in pain.
"Interesting," the Count responded, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.
Corran arranged to meet with Kellin, his man-at-arms, in his quarters. He sat at a large desk, waiting for him. Several moments later, Kellin entered.
"Kellin!" said the Prince.
"Sire," Kellin responds as he kneels at the Prince's side.
"As chief enforcer of all Florin, I trust you with this secret: Killers from Guilder are infiltrating the Thieves' Forest and plan to murder my bride on our wedding night."
Kellin seemed shocked. "My spy network has heard no such news," he told the Prince.
Just then, Elizabeth quietly enters the room.
"Any word from Wedge?" she asked. Corran looked momentarily startled, then recovered.
"Too soon, my angel." he said. "Patience."
"He will come for me," Elizabeth stated, and left the room.
"Of course," Corran mutters, then turns back to Kellin.
"She will not be murdered!" he shouted. "On the day of the wedding, I want the thieves forest emptied and every inhabitant arrested!"
Kellin looked worried about this. "Many of the thieves will resist. My regular enforcers will be inadequate."
Corran would accept no excuses. "Form a Brute Squad, then!" he yelled, deeply angered. "I want the Thieves Forest emptied before I wed."
"It won't be easy, Sire," Kellin said.
"Try ruling the World sometime," Corran replied sarcastically.
The day of the wedding arrived. The brute squad had their hands full carrying out Humperdincks orders. Many of the inhabitants did resist, but Yellin was determined to complete the Prince's orders.
"Is everybody out?" he asked a Brute.
"Almost," he replied. "There's an Alderaanian giving us some trouble."
"Well, then," Kellin responded. "You give him some...trouble! Move!"
Tycho was, in fact, giving the guards a hard time. He was drunk.
"I am waiting for, you Borsk!" he called out, his words slurring with the effects of the alcohol. "You told me to go back to the beginning, so I have. This is where I am, and this is where I'll stay. I will not be moved."
The Brute approached again, angry to find him still there. "Ho there!" he called to Tycho.
Tycho stumbled. "I do not budge," he told the Brute. "You keep your ho there."
"But the Prince gave orders!" he insisted.
Tycho jumps up and slashes at the Brute with his sword. "I know you, Fey'lya...when the job went wrong you went back to the beginning...And this is where we got the job, so it's the beginning. And I am staying 'till Borsk comes."
The Brute calls to a figure behind Tycho. "You, Brute! Come here!"
But Tycho continued to mumble to himself drunkenly. "I...am...waiting...for...Borsk." Then, a hand from behind reaches and grabs him.
"Tycho, you're drunk, of course."
Tycho looks up, and sees that it is Wes. "Hello." Wes told him.
"It's you!" Tycho said happily.
The othe Brute jumps in to see what's going on, but Wes knocks him out.
"You don't look so good," Wes told Tycho. "Don't smell so good, either."
"Perhaps, no" Tycho said. "I feel fine..." And when Wes let go of Tycho, he fell flat on his face.
And so, Wes and Tycho were reunited. As Wes nursed his inebriated friend back to health, he told Tycho of Count Tarkin's existence, which he took surprisingly well, considering his life-long search. He merely fainted and fell face-first into a bowl of soup. Wes took great care in reviving Tycho by dunking his head into barrels of hot and cold water.
When Tycho finally regained his senses, he spoke, "That's enough! That's enough! Where is this Tarkin now, so I might kill him?"
"He's with the Prince in the Castle," Wes informed him. "But the Castle gate is guarded by thirty men."
"How many could you handle?" Tycho asked him.
"No more than ten," he responded. Tycho shook his head. "Leaving twenty for me. At my best, I could never defeat that many. We need Borsk to plan. I have no gift for strategy."
"But Borsk is dead," Wes pointed out.
Suddenly, Tycho was inspired. "No...not Borsk," he said. "I need the Man in Black!"
"What?"
Tycho explained his theory. "Look, he bested you at strength, your greatness. He bested me with steel. He must have out-thought Borsk, and a man who can do that can plan my castle onslaught any day! Let's go!"
"Where?" Wes asked.
"...To find the Man in Black, obviously," Tycho said.
"But you don't know where he is," Wes pointed out.
"Don't bother me with trifles," Tycho said. "After twenty years, at last my planet's soul will be at peace. There will be blood tonight!"
The Prince Corran once again calls Kellin into his chambers. While he waits, the Prince is sharpening a dagger. Kellin enters, and kneels by the Prince's side.
"Rise and report!" Corran orders.
"The Thieves' Forest is empty," Kellin said. "And the castle gate is guarded by 30 men."
"Double it!" Corran says. "I want my princess kept safe."
Priscilla Precise: *His* Princess? Blergh.
Katrielle: *huggles* I feel your pain.
"The gate has but one key," Kellin said, "And I carry that."
Elizabeth enters the room.
"Ah, my dulcet darling!" Corran says. "Tonight we marry." He turns to Kellin.
"Tomorrow morning your men will escort us to Florin Channel, where every ship in my armada waits to accompany us on our honeymoon."
"Every ship but your four fastest, you mean." Elizabeth pointed out.
At Corran's confused look, she spoke again. "Every ship but the four you sent?"
Corran recovered badly. "Oh, oh yes. Of course, naturally not those four."
Kellin wasn't a complete idiot, felt the tension in the room, and leaves. "Your Majesty," he remarks before he exits.
"You never sent the ships," Elizabeth said. "Doesn't matter...my Wedge will come for me anyways."
"You're a silly girl," Corran told her.
"Yes, I am a silly girl," Elizabeth agreed, "For not seeing sooner that you were nothing but a coward with a heart full of fear."
Corran was deeply angered by this. "I would not say such things if I were you!" he said.
"Why not?" Elizabeth asked. "You can't hurt me. Wedge and I are joined by the bonds of love and you cannot track that; not with a thousand bloodhounds. And you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you're a coward, it is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the Earth."
Corran became furious. "I would not say such things if I were you!!!!" he screamed, and forcefully took her back to her chambers.
Corran, after locking Elizabeth in her quarters, went to the Pit of Despair. He quickly walked over to Wedge, who was still strapped to the machine.
Corran spoke to Wedge, his anger still fresh. "You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no mater what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will."
And then he pushed the lever of the machine to fifty.
Count Tarkin screamed, "Not to fifty!!"
Wedge screamed in such agony, the entire kingdom could his cries. Elizabeth heard them in her chamber, and Wes and Tycho heard them in the Thieves Forest.
Tycho immediately recognized it. "Wes! Wes! Listen. Do you hear? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Tarkin slaughtered my entire planet. The man in black makes it now."
"The Man in Black?" Wes asked. "How do you know it's him?"
"His true love is marrying another tonight. So who else is the cause for ultimate suffering?"
While they talk, Wes and Tycho try to push their way through a huge crowd of people.
"Excuse me; pardon me, it's important." Wes and Tycho are stuck in the crowd, nearly unable to move.
"Wes, please?" Tycho finally says.
Wes bellows, "EVERYBODY, MOVE!"
And they did move. all of them. They split like the Red Sea at the sound of Wes' yell, and they were on their way...
They finally find the Tree Grove that was the source of the screams, and come upon the Albino.
"Where is the Man in Black?" Tycho asked the Albino. "You get that from this grove, yes?"
When the Albino does not respond, Tycho turns to Wes. "Wes, jog his memory."
Wes hits the Albino in the head, but so hard that he knocks him out.
"I'm sorry, Tycho," Wes said, "I didn't mean to jog him so hard. Tycho?"
Tycho, not giving up, now knelt in the Tree Grove, his sword held high in the air. A ray of light shown down on him, and peaceful music played as he spoke.
"People of Alderaan, I have failed you for twenty years. Now our misery can end. Somewhere, somewhere close by is a man who can help us. I can not find him alone. I need you. I need you to guide my sword, please. Guide my sword."
Tycho stood, his eyes still closed, and began to follow his sword, as if the people of Alderaan did indeed lead him. But, when the sword was stuck into a tree, Tycho opened his eyes, saw that it was only a tree, and leaned on the tree in defeat.
However, he had leaned against the secret knob, and it now revealed the secret passageway into the Pit of Despair. Tycho and Wes entered the Pit, and find Wedge on the table, unconscious.
Wes puts his head down on his chest, and listens. "He's dead," he said quietly.
"This is no fair," said Tycho.
Priscilla Precise: No! Kitty! Tycho's right! That's *not* *fair*! I
mean, Wes didn't mean 'dead', dead, did he? Wedge is only faking,
right?
Katrielle: Izzy? Do you want me to continue, hon?
Priscilla Precise: Can't you have somebody kill Humperdink/Corran
in
this version, too?
Katrielle: What do you mean? You want me to deviate from the script
and have Corran killed?
Priscilla Precise: I wouldn't mind it all that much....
Katrielle: It's your birthday. I might humor you.
Tycho sighed, then glanced up at Wes. "The Celchu's have never taken defeat easily," he said. "Come on, Wes, and bring the body."
"The body?" Wes asked.
"Do you have any money?" Tycho asked.
"I have a little."
"I just hope it's enough to buy a miracle, that's all."
And so, Tycho and Wes took the body with them, and stood in front of a small wooden door. Tycho knocked on the door.
"Go away," says a voice from inside, irritated.
Tycho knocks harder, and a sad, dour blonde man's face appears in a hole cut in the door.
"What?!" he asks, "What?!"
"Are you the Miracle Man that worked for the King a few years ago?"
"The King's asshole son fired me--and thank you for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it. We're closed!" He then pushes a flap down over the opening. Tycho knocks once again.
"Beat it, or I'll call the Brute squad!" the voice called from inside.
"I'm on the Brute Squad," said Wes.
The man, who had opened the flap at Tycho's third round of knocking, looked up at Wes. "You are the brute squad," he said.
"We need a miracle," Tycho said. "It's very important."
"Look," said the man, "I'm doing the early retirement thing. Besides, why would you want someone the king's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you want to make the miracle."
"He's already dead," Tycho mentioned.
"He is, eh?" The man sighs. "Bring him in, I'll have a look."
They come in, and the Miracle Man Hobbie examines Wedge. "I've seen worse," he commented.
"Sir," Tycho interrupts. "Sir?"
"Huh?"
"We're in a terrible rush."
Miracle Hobbie shook his head at Tycho. "Don't rush me. You rush a Miracle Man, you get rotten miracles. You got any money?"
"Sixty-five." Miracle Hobbie whistled. "I've never worked for so little. Except once, and that was a very noble cause."
"Oh, this is noble, sir," Tycho said. "His wife is...crippled. His children on the brink of starvation..."
"Are you a rotten liar," Hobbie said. Tycho then explained.
"I need him to help avenge my planet, destroyed these twenty years."
"Your first story was better," the Miracle Man said, "Where's that bellows cramp? He probably owes you money, huh. Well, I'll ask him."
"He's dead," Tycho pointed out. "He can't talk."
"Oooh! Look who knows so much, eh? Well, it turns out that your friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his mouth," he instructed. He inserts the bellows, and continues to speak. "Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, there's only one thing you can do."
"What's that?" Tycho asked.
"Go through his clothes and look for loose change." Miracle Hobbie then pumps air into Wedge, and yells at him. "Hey! Hello in there! Hey!! What's so important? Whatcha got here, that's worth living for?" Hobbie then pushed on Wedge's chest. Barely audible, he can be heard saying,
"True....love."
Tycho is excited by this. "You see? True love! You could not ask for a more noble cause than that!"
Miracle Hobbie nodded. "True love is the greatest thing in the world; I mean, all you need is love! But, anyways, what he said was 'to blaithe', which we all know means 'to bluff'. So, you were probably playing at cards and he cheated...."
"Liar!!" a woman with blonde hair came into the room and yelled at him. "Liarrrr!"
"Get back, witch." Hobbie said to the woman. Marie shook her head. "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! Just because a body teaches Latin doesn't make her a witch! And I'm your wife--but after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore."
"You never had it so good." Hobbie smiles lightly at Tycho.
"True love, who said true love, Hobbie?"
"Don't say another word, Marie," Hobbie told her.
"He's afraid," Marie said. "Ever since Corran fired him, his self-confidence has been shattered. He's been getting more and more dour!"
"I thought you liked dour! And why'd you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name."
"What, Corran?"
"Ahh!" Hobbie cried.
"Corran!"
"Ahh!" he cringed.
"Corran, Corran, Corran!" she shouted, chasing him around the room.
"I'm not listening," he said, his hands over his ears.
"True love, life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help!"
"Corran!" she yells. She continues to yell 'Corran' at him.
Finally, Tycho interrupts. "This is Elizabeth's true love," he said. "If you heal him, he will stop Corran's wedding."
"Quiet!" Hobbie said to Marie, then turned to Tycho, who said "Thank you. Thank you."
"Wait, wait," Hobbie said. "I make him better, and Corran suffers?"
Tycho nodded. "Humiliations galore!!"
Hobbie laughed and smiled, gleeful. "Ha-ha! Now, that is a noble cause! Give me the sixty-five! I'm on the job!"
And so, Hobbie, with help from Marie, made the revival pill for Wedge.
"That's a miracle pill?" Tycho asked, speculative. Marie nodded.
"The chocolate coating makes it go down easier. But, you have to wait fifteen minutes before potency. And, he shouldn't go in swimming after for at least..."
"An hour!" Hobbie interrupted.
"An hour," Marie agreed. "A good hour," Hobbie added.
Hobbie handed Tycho the pill.
"Thank you for everything!" Tycho said, as he, Wes, and Wedge's body prepared to leave.
"Okay!" Hobbie called after them.
"Bye bye, boys!" Marie called to them.
"Have fun storming the castle!" Hobbie said.
Marie turned to Hobbie. "You think it'll work?"
Hobbie looked skeptical. "It would take a miracle."
"B-bye!" they both called to the boys.
Continued in Part Five