Dusk settled around them as Wes, Tycho, and Wedge's body were just outside the castle, observing the castle gate.

"Tycho," Wes pointed out, "There's more than 30!"

Tycho propped up Wedge between them. "What's the difference?" he asked. "We've got him!" he said, gesturing to Wedge. "Help me force-feed him."

"Has it been 15 minutes?" Wes asked.

Tycho shook his head. "We can't wait. The wedding is in half an hour. We must strike in the hustle and the bustle before hand," he said, then ordered Wes, "Tilt his head back. Open his mouth."

They forced the pill down Wedge'e throat, and Wes spoke.

"How long do we have to wait before we know if the miracle works?"

Tycho shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine," he said.

Just as he said it, Wedge's eyes shot open, and he was disoriented.

"I'll beat you both apart! I'll take you both together!" he threatened, eyeing the two men warily.

"I guess not very long," Wes said.

"Why won't my arms move?" Wedge asked.

"You've been mostly dead all day," Wes explained.

"We had Miracle Man Hobbie concoct a pill to bring you back to life," added Tycho.

"Who are you?" Wedge asked. "Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where's Elizabeth?"

"Let me explain," Tycho said, then shook his head. "No, there is too much. Let me sum up; Elizabeth is marrying Corran in little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape - after I kill Count Tarkin."

"Well, that doesn't leave much for dilly-dally." Wedge noted.

"You just wiggled your fingers!" Wes said. "That's wonderful!"

"I've always been a quick healer. What are our assets?"

"Your brains, Wes's strength, my steel." Tycho told him.

"That's it?" Wedge asked, unbelieving. "Impossible. If I had a month to plan, maybe I could come up with something. But this...."

"'You just shook your head!" Wes said. "That doesn't make you happy?"

Wedge looked at Wes. "My brains, his steel and your strength against sixty men and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hm? I mean if we only had a wheelbarrow, now that would be something."

"Where did we put the wheelbarrow the Albino had?" Tycho asked Wes.

"Over the Albino, I think," Wes said.

"Why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?" Wedge sighed. &What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak..."

"There we cannot help you," Tycho said.

But, Wes pulled a huge black cloak from under his shirt. "You mean something like this?"

"Where did you get that?" Tycho asked him.

"Miracle Hobbie," Wes explained. "It fit so nice, he said I could keep it."

"Alright, alright," Wedge said. "Come help me up." Wes and Tycho helped him up, and continued, "Now, I'll need a sword eventually."

"Why?" Tycho asked. "You can't even lift one."

"True," Wedge said. "But that's hardly common knowledge, is it?" When Tycho hands him a blastsword, he says, "Thank you. Now, there may be problems once we're inside."

"I'll say," Tycho agreed. "How do I find the Count? Once I do, how do I find you again. Once I find you again, how do we escape?"

"Don't pester him," Wes said, turning Wedge's head to see him when he spoke. "He's had a hard day."

"Right, right," Tycho said, as Wedge's head was turned back towards him by Wes. "Sorry."

Wes made Wedge's head nod, and then spoke. "Tycho?"

"What?"

"I hope we win."

Inside the Castle, Elizabeth and Corran prepared for their wedding.

"You don't seem excited, my little muffin." Corran said.

"Should I be?" Elizabeth countered.

"I'm told that brides often are," he said.

"I do not marry tonight," Elizabeth stated. "My Wedge will come for me." With that, she leaves the room.

In the Chapel, music was played loudly. Many were lined up in the pews to see the Prince's wedding. Prince Corran and Elizabeth stood before a Clergyman, who had a Speech Impediment.

Clergyman Ackbaw began. "Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam..."

The sounds of Kellin shouting outside the Castle gate can be heard in the room. "Stand your ground, men!! Stand your ground!"

Wes was dressed in the black cloak, standing on the wheelbarrow, being pushed by Tycho and Wedge.

"I am the Dread Pirate Booster!" Wes bellowed at the guards. "There will be no survivors!"

"Now?" Tycho asked Wedge.

"Not yet." Wedge responded.

"My men are here!" Wes continued. "I am here! But soon, you will not be here!!"

"Now?" Tycho asked again, just barely holding up Wes in the wheelbarrow.

"Light him!" Wedge commands. They light Wes' robe with a torch.

"The Dread Pirate Booster takes no survivors!" Wes yelled. "All your worst nightmares have but to come true!"

The majority of the guards, scared to death, abandon the castle. A few stay.

Clergyman Ackbaw continues. "And wove, twue wove, will follow you fowever...."

"The Dread Pirate Booster is here for your soul!" Wes yelled.

Inside, the wedding continues.

"So, tweasure your wove..."

But Corran interrupted. "Skip to the end!" he ordered.

"Have you the wing?" Ackbaw asked.

"Here comes my Wedge now," Elizabeth said.

Outside, Wes removes the robe. Kellin continues to yell for the guards to fight, but they all leave, except for Kellin himself.

"Wes, the portcullis?" Tycho asked, and Wes lifted the portcullis fairly easily.

"Your Wedge is dead," Corran told Elizabeth. "I killed him myself."

"Then why is there fear behind your eyes?" she asked him.

Wedge spoke to Kellin. "Give us the key."

"Key?" Kellin asked, playing stupid. "I have no gate key."

"Wes, tear his arms off," Tycho said.

At that possibility, Kellin pulls out the key. "Oh, you mean this gate key."

"Do you, Pwincess Elizabewth?"

"Man and Wife!" Corran said, angry. "Just say 'Man and Wife'."

"Man and Wife," Ackbaw said.

Corran spoke to his parents. "Escort her to the honeymoon suite," he told them. "I'll be there shortly."

"He didn't come," Elizabeth said softly, deeply saddened.

Finally, Wes, Tycho, and Wedge entered the Castle. Wes is carrying Wedge. Tycho, who leads the way, meets up with Count Tarkin and guards.

"Kill the Blonde one and the one with the broad shoulders," he commanded, "And leave the other for questioning."

The guards charge Tycho, but are no match for his mastery of the blastsword. When all 4 guards are slayed, Tycho looks up at Tarkin with murder in his eyes.

"Hello," he said. "My name is Tycho Celchu. You killed my planet. Prepare to die."

As Tycho prepares to duel with the Count, Tarkin turned his tail and ran. Tycho chased after him, but Tarkin ran into a room, and locked the door behind him. The blonde man repeatedly charged the door, but is unable to knock it down.

"Wes!" he screams. "Wes, I need you!"

But Wes is preoccupied by having to hold Wedge upright. "I can't leave him alone!" he said.

"He's getting away from me, Wes! Please!!! Wes!!!"

Wes puts Wedge so that he was supported by a nearby suit of armor, and ran to Tycho's aid. He finds Tycho repeatedly ramming his entire body into the door, unable to move it. He pushes Tycho out of the way, and in one blow, knocks it down.

"Thank you!" Tycho called as he chased after the Count.

The King and Queen escorted Elizabeth to her room, per their son's orders.

"Strange wedding," King Hal remarked.

"Yes, very strange indeed," the Queen agrees. "Come along." She goes on to her rooms, leaving Elizabeth and the King alone. She kissed his forehead.

The King was pleasantly surprised. "What was that for?" he asked.

"Because you've always been so kind to me," Elizabeth said, "And I won't be seeing you again, as I'm killing myelf once I reach the honeymoon suite."

"Well, isn't that nice?" he remarked, then giggled. "She kissed me!" he said happily.

Count Tarkin eventually ran into a dead end, with Tycho still chasing after him. He removed a dagger from his boot, and surprised Tycho with it. He thew it, stabbing Tycho in the stomach.

"I'm sorry, people of Alderaan," he said quietly, as he fell on his knees. "I tried."

The Count shook his head ruefully. "You must be that Alderaanian brat I taught a lesson to all those years ago. Simply incredible--you've been trailing me your whole life, only to fail now. I think that's possibly the worst thing I've ever heard. How marvelous,&" he said in a cruel voice.

Elizabeth reached the Honeymoon suite, and crossed over to the dresser, where a large dagger sat. She picked it up and held it to her chest, ready to kill herself, when a voice interrupted.

"You know, there are a shortage of perfect breasts in this world," Wedge said. "It'd be a pity to damage yours."

"Wedge!" she cries, and runs over to where he lays on the bed. "Oh, Wedge, darling!" She kissed him all over, thrilled to see him. "Wedge, why won't you hold me?"

"Gently," he tells her, as he has no strength left.

"At a time like this," she said, "All you can think to say is 'gently'?" She accidentally banged his head onto the headboard, and he winced. "Gently!" he says.

Not willing to give up, Tycho pulled the dagger from his stomach, and tried to stand. He could not but managed to stay upright, leaning against a wall.

"Good heavens," Tarkin murmured. "Are you still trying to win? You've got an over-developed sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday."

He then tried to stab Tycho in the heart with his blastsword, but Tycho blocked, and he only pierces his arm.

"Hello," Tycho began again, "My name is Tycho Celchu. You killed my planet. Prepare to die."

Still not quite back to his usual strength, Tycho stumbled slightly, and held onto his still-bleeding stomach. "Hello. My name is Tycho Celchu. You killed my planet. Prepare to die."

Tycho began to regain his strength, and yelled, "Hello!!! My name is Tycho Celchu!!! You killed my planet!! Prepare to die!!!"

By this time, Tarkin was scared and angry, baffled at the fact that Tycho was gaining strength. "Stop saying that!" he screamed.

But now, Tycho is furious, and backs Tarkin into a corner. "Hello! My name is Tycho Celchu! You killed my planet! Prepare to die!"

He slashed the Count's cheek, the identical move done to him so many years before. "Offer me money," he said.

"All that I have and more," Tarkin begged. "Please!"

Tycho slashed his other cheek. "Offer me anything I ask for," he said.

"Anything you want!" the Count cried, then tried a last-chance move on Tycho and failed.

Tycho stuck his sword into Tarkin's chest. "I want my father back, you son of a bitch!" he told him.

The Count fell to the floor, dead. Tycho ran off to find Wedge.

"Oh, Wedge, will you ever forgive me?" Elizabeth asked Wedge, worried.

"What hideous sin have you committed lately?" he asked her.

"I got married," she said. "I didn't want to. It all just happened so fast."

"It never happened," he told her.

"What?!"

"It never happened," he repeated.

"But it did! I was there! This Clergyman Ackbaw said 'Man and Wife'."

"Did you say 'I do'?"

"Well...no. We kind of...skipped over that whole part. And most everything else, really."

"Then you're not married," he told her. "You didn't say it. You didn't do it. Wouldn't you agree, your highness?"

Elizabeth and Wedge turned to see Prince Corran standing in the doorway.

"A technicality that will soon be remedied," he remarked. "But first things first." he drew his blastsword. "To the death!" he shouted.

"No!" Wedge shouted. "To the pain!"

Corran looked at him quizzically. "I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase?"

"I'll explain, and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand," Wedge said, then spat, "You-wart-hog-faced-buffoon!"

Prince Corran looked deeply insulted. "I think," he said slowly, "That that is the first time in my life anyone has dared to insult me."

"It won't be the last," Wedge assured him. "To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your your feet below the ankles, then your hands at your wrists. Next, your nose."

"Then my tongue, I suppose?" Corran asked, irritated. "I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight."

"I wasn't finished!" Wedge said angrily. "Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why: So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness is yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman that cries out, 'Dear TAWG, what is that thing?' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

"I think you're bluffing," Corran said.

"It's possible, pig," Wedge said. "I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand." he continued. "But then again, perhaps I have the strength to stand after all."

Very slowly, Wedge summoned all his strength, and stood, his blastsword pointed directly at Corran's chest.

"Drop. Your. Sword." He instructed. Corran's sword hit the ground.

"Now, have a seat," Wedge said, gesturing to a nearby chair. "Tie him up," he ordered Elizabeth. "And make it as tight as you like."

Elizabeth ties Corran up, enjoying his "Ow!" at the tightness of the rope.

At that moment, Tycho walks in. "Where's Wes?" he asked Wedge.

"I thought he was with you," he said. "In that case..." Wedge starts to move, but then nearly loses his balance.

"Help him," Tycho says to Elizabeth, who is already doing so.

"Why does he need help?" she asked.

"Because he has no strength," Tycho replied.

"Hah!" Corran said. "I knew it! I knew you were bluffing!" Tycho pointed his blastsword at him. "I knew he was...bluffing."

"Shall I dispatch him for you?" Tycho asked.

Katrielle: So, shall I?
Priscilla Precise: Nah. But, that whole 'wallowing in freakish misery' sounds nice.

"Thank you, but no," Wedge said. "I want him to live for a long time, alone with his cowardice."

"Tycho! Tycho!" Wes shouts. Tycho runs over to the window, and looks down to see Wes holding four horses. "Oh, there you are. I saw the Prince's stable, and there they were. Four white horses. So, I thought if we ever find the lady," he says, and then sees Elizabeth. "Hello, lady!" he calls up to her, and she waves at him. "...So I took them with me in case we ever bumped into each other. But, I guess we just did."

"Wes, " Tycho said with pride in his voice. "You did something right."

"Thanks," Wes said. "Dont' worry--I won't let it go to my head."

Elizabeth then jumps out of the window, and is caught by Wes.

"You know," Tycho remarked, "It's very strange. I have been in the revenge business for so long, now that it's over I don't know what to do with the rest of my life."

"Have you ever considered piracy?" Wedge asked. "You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Booster."

After this, they both jump from the window, and all of them leave on the four white horses. They rode to freedom, and as dawn arose, Wedge and Elizabeth knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them, and as they reached for each other...."

Priscilla Precise: *g* You can write this part, can't you?
Katrielle: But, of course. :-D

Since the invention of the kiss, there had been five kisses that had been the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

THE END

Katrielle: I hope you liked it! Now, you need to go and get some rest, hon.
Priscilla Precise: I loved it! *HUGS* Thanks, Kitty! *smooch*
Katrielle: *blush* *huggles* Thanks, sweetie!
Priscilla Precise: Heh. Maybe we can do this again sometimes.
Katrielle: *Again*? *Oy*...
Katrielle: ;-) *g* As you wish.

Finis

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