Article 1: Purpose
The purpose of these By-laws is to establish a governing structure for the Wedge Antilles Admiration Society (hereinafter referred to as "the Society" or "WAAS") in accordance with the wishes of the Members of the Society.
Article 2: Governing Structure
Article 3: Titles
Any member of the Society may nominate another member for a title. Titles held at time of this writing:
1. Responsibilities: In charge of Latin and sprinkling the pilots with glitter dust, and, if possible,
getting them into leather pants. Priestess of the Temple of Wedge.
2. Rights: Libations and temple servants who lounge around in drawstring sleep pants.
E: SweetSmut Writer: Katrielle
1.Responsibilities: Adorable, "Awwwww..."-able fic
2. Rights: Gavin. More Gavin. 24-hour Gavin. And the adoration of Society members for being such a cutie.
F: Most Prolific Ho!Downer and Grand High Packrat: Claire
1. Responsibilities: Ho!Downs on command, pulling back posts from her magic hat
2. Rights: Comlink numbers of all pilots for spontaneous prankings, collar made specifically to fit the Face
A quorum, for the purposes of WAASchat (time and date to be decided later) is: bigger than 1 and smaller than a breadbox.
Article 5: Membership
Any person with an obsessive interest in Wedge or any other member of Rogue or Wraith Squadron may join the Society, irregardless of species, race, creed, sexual or political orientation, or religious beliefs. However, we’re a naughty bunch and minors or men might be offended or scared by our frank discussions of sexuality and Jell-O.
Article 6: Voting Rights
All members have the right to vote on issues pertaining to the Society.
Article 7: Activities
The activities of this Society are as follows:
B. Smut
C. Random Pilot-worship
D. OT posting
E. Smut
F. Bitching about stuff
G. Snorking at Elizabeth’s latest Python parody
H. Smut
I. Abject amounts of hatred for Borsk Fey’lya, KJA (hereinafter referred to as "nastyman") and his characters
J. Envisioning nekkid pilots
K. Smut
Article 8: Ratification
All decisions pertaining to the welfare of the Society have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting--
Wedge: Um...
By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
Wedge: Um... Anti?
But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--
Wedge: Anti! Wrong movie!
Oops.
Wedge: And you’re supposed to leave that stuff to Elizabeth. Sheesh.
Article 9: Declarations of War
All Society members must maintain a constant state of watchfulness against the encroachments of:
1. Because he writes our Hero completely out of character and makes him look like a bumbling idiot who falls for any chick with blue skin and a sob story.
2. Because, all Wedge issues aside, he sucks.
Open war will be declared against this woogalar if he ever attempts to publish another Wedge-bashing book again.
B. Borsk Fey’lya
1. Because he treats our Hero and all other pilots like dirt.
2. Because he’s a sneaky, conniving little furball.
3. Because he sucks.
Article 10: Objects of Derision
1. Because he was mean to Tycho.
2. Because he has a huge ego and no excuse for it.
3. Because he was mean to Tycho.
B. Qwi Xux
1. Because she couldn’t figure out that a “Death Star” might actually be a bad thing.
2. Because she turned our Hero into a love-besotted wimp.
3. Because she would, if given the chance, have been mean to Tycho.
C. Luke Skywalker AKA Farmboy
1. Because he whines.
2. Because he takes all the credit for Wedge’s wonderful doings.
3. Because, even though he has never been mean to Tycho, he might be someday.
Article 11: Freedom of speech
WAAS shall make no law disallowing adult fanfiction, or prohibiting the free exercise of ‘fic writing; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of smut; or the right of the people peaceably to lust, and to petition the Society’s writers for specific pairings.
B. All ‘fics must be preceded by a header that includes the following information:
1. Title- The title of the piece.
2. Author- The name under which the fic will be archived. "Me" isn't good enough. (unless s/he wishes to remain anonymous, in which case we’ll find out who
they are and taunt them).
3. Rating: MPAA ratings or equivalent (G- as if!, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17-yeah baby!).
4. Disclaimers: Because none of us are George Lucas.
5. Summary: A brief idea of what it’s about, so we know whether or not to ignore it.
6. Warnings: Spoilers for the novels, warnings about specific activities that some list members may
find offensive. Well, not our current list members, since we all seem to be open-minded hos. This
includes slash, chan, bestiality, rape, BDSM, eyeballs, Hutt-love, etc...
7. Archive: If you don't tell us not to, we will.
C. Fics posted without a header will not be archived.
Article 12: Tyranny
If our Fearless Leader at any time becomes an insufferable tyrant, Tycho Celchu or Wedge Antilles (or both), depending upon who's available, should be immediately dispatched to remedy the situation. If neither is available, uttering the name "Master Shark" should snap her out of it.
Article 13: Morale
Any WAASer caught using the phrase "my fic sucks" or similar sentiments must compose a hoe-down. The offender shall be called out on-list and the subject matter of the hoe-down will be assigned by the person doing the calling-out. The offender then has 24 hours to compose a hoe-down but she/he cannot post anything else until the hoe-down is written. It doesn't matter how stupid or silly the hoe-down is; the point is to promote positivity and warm fuzzy feelings. *
Article 14: Official Hos
Anyone who has completed (or has in progress, in the case of multiple parts), any Wedge Antilles smut (het/slash/whatever) shall be granted the title "General Antilles' Ho" and may post their title on their website, in their siggie, or anywhere they deem fit.*
Article 15: Crime and Punishment
1. All posts must contain something random and OT. Failure to observe this law will result in the
application of Punishment One.
2. Wedge-hating: Defined as any act in which one derides our Hero. Exceptions: anyone who
mentions Qwi Xux may lawfully (and truthfully) state that Wedge was an idiot to knock boots with
her. Failure to observe this law will result in the application of Punishment Two.
3. Flames.
a. Defined as "Rude and ignorant lambasting of a person or post, including fanfics, usually
perpetrated by those too stupid to write anything of their own or to make any sort of
intelligent comment."
b. WAAS has a zero tolerance on flames. Failure to observe this law will result in the
application of Punishment Three.
4. All posts must contain the words "Antigone is the Supreme SmutSlut and I bow to her genius."
Failure to observe this law will result in the application of Punishment Two.
B. Punishments
1. Immediate and irreversible exile to Fic-land, where the fountains flow with Whyren's Reserve and
the pilots lounge about in togas and loincloths.
2. Immediate imprisonment in Azkaban, where the dementors will suck your will to live and force
you to read KJA. Muaahahahaha.
3. Death. Plus, we won’t like you any more.
4. Aforementioned punishments are meant to be a *deterrant* to rule-breaking. Therefore, a judiciary
board will be set up to try those WAASers who seem entirely too eager to be punished. Those found
guilty will be deemed Repeat Offenders.
Repeat Offenders will be sentenced to a period of no less than 36 hours in the company of one Borsk
Fey'lya. However, should that person, hypothetically and purely by accident (preferably a very
messy, humiliating accident), perhaps kill one Borsk Fey’lya, then that person (whomever she may
be) would immediately be proclaimed WAASheroine and would be entitled to the Rogue/Wraith(s)
of her choice. In the attire of her choice. With condiments of her choice.
Article 16: List Etiquette
Thou shalt snip thy messages, else face the torment of the listmod doing her best Kyp Durron impression.
Article 17: Official Slogan
X-Wing pilot: The gift that keeps on giving. ~ Varghona
Article 18: Official Poem
Better than the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our Whyren’s Reserve-washed, sunset gates shall stand
Mighty women with torches, whose flame
Is the fires of lust, and their names
Goddesses of WAAS. From their beacon-hands
Glows world-wide welcome; their sparkling eyes command
The X-Wing hangar that the galaxy adores.
"Keep, judgmental site-lords, your bloated pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your naughty, your persecuted,
Your smut-minded masses yearning to write free,*
Those thrust from RP.c, refused the shelter of your teeming shore.
Send these, the slashers, the lust-inspired to us,
We lift our lamps beside the golden door!"
- Spoof of "The New Colossus," by Emma Lazarus
Article 19: Amendments
WAAS reserves the right to amend and/or alter these bylaws in accordance with majority opinion.
* Contributed by An’Arie and quoted verbatim because there was no way to improve upon it